Thursday, March 27, 2014

Taking my own advice...


David and I were honored to give talks at the Lake Charles Diocesan Youth Conference this weekend (while various groups of awesome people watched all four of our kidlets), David on Mary and I on self-worth. It was quite therapeutic, because I chose to go the route of telling my own story of discovering self-worth rather than a more conceptual approach (per the advice of my husband, who, as many of you know, is an incredibly gifted speaker).

I will spare you the details of the story, except maybe some pictures that I found to give the girls a visual of the junior high and high school, and college Kate...



Anyway, I ended the talk with some advice, that I realize I must use myself, lest I loose my way and stop clinging to Christ:

1) Date Jesus - in the same way you would work on a relationship with someone, talk to him, journal to him, Visit Him (Adoration), spend time with Him, read His love letters to you (Scripture), ask forgiveness of Him (Reconciliation).

2) Surround yourself with women who also love Christ- we live in a society where women, who call themselves friends, are in constant competition with one another for the attention of others (mostly men), and who try to one-up each other. Make it a point to pray for your friends and for their holiness, and spend time with friends who encourage and support you rather than compete with you.

3) Avoid Chick-flicks and Secular Music (or avoid most of those things)- When we expose ourselves to these, we get an unrealistic view of what love is. We place expectations on ourselves and on our husbands (boyfriends/men) to be someone that doesn't really exist. I notice that when I watch some of my old fav's - The Noteboook, in particular- I found myself disappointed in David for not being more like Ryan Gosling (who's character doesn't really exist and whose marriage was mostly fighting and one particular way to make up, which is pretty unhealthy)

You can imagine that the girl's hands went wild with possible exceptions : The Vow, Fireproof, A Walk to Remember, etc - which I responded, "I'm not saying to never watched any story that involves "one guy and one girl", I only mean to plant the seed of vigilance. Read about it before you watch it, change the radio station to something more positive, etc etc.

Why is this advice still applicable? Because If I am not following my own advice, then I will 1) Drain David for attention and love that ultimately does not satisfy my need for love and self-worth like my Creator can provide. 2) I place unrealistic expectations on myself and my husband to be someone I'm not, and I also am tempted to use my husband for my own selfish pleasure (physical OR emotional). 3) If I am not constantly seeking the very heart of Christ, then I lose my source of life and become drained, angry, short-tempered, and selfish. 

I should give talks more often, my family would certainly benefit! 

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Pics from the phone...

 I have no camera. This makes it difficult to show the world how cute our children are. So here are a couple from my phone in the last month...
 The three big kids during the ice days.

















Jacob Joseph. 2 1/2 and needing a trim.




David and John Paul building a lego ship that is 500 pieces. It starts...
And finally. My super heroes! Just before this picture came this converstaion: T: John Paul come lie down. We're married so we can sleep in the same bed (her latest facination- ruh roh). John Paul: No, we can't! We're not married. Super heroes don't get married. Therese: Mama can super heroes get married? Me: I'm pretty sure. I think Spider man was married. Therese: Good- I'm Black Widow, so call me Black Widow, but we're married John Paul, so we can sleep in the same bed. So come to bed.

You can't tell, but she 1) will be only 4 in 2 days despite her super tall self and 2) cut her own hair yesterday, she's got some pixy bangs. "I'm not even angry, I'm impressed" - Ron Burgundy

And then there's our sweet sweet Micah Man. 9 1/2 months and finally only waking up once or twice!! Love this little man... who's slapping my legs to get off this blasted computer!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

An honest confession...



I haven't fasted in almost 7 years...
I have made the excuse that I am either pregnant or nursing, and so I HAVE to go on eating whatever I darn well please because I'm feeding someone else ( I mean, a third piece of cake isn't for me, it's for the baby).

I am not a naturally compassionate person...
When I see that my kids or my husband are sick, my heart doesn't stir toward serving them in their need, it stirs with an ache in the realization that I may not sleep well that night.

I am a yeller...
I am very quick to raise my voice at my children, even Micah. I assume that when my kids are doing something wrong, it's because they are actually choosing to do wrong rather than exploring, learning, or just being their age. I might as well throw in that I curse a lot too...

I am quick to speak, slow to hear...
When my husband brings a genuine concern or shares his heart with me, I jump to defensiveness or to self pity before I think of his needs or share gratitude for his willingness to entrust his heart to me.

I am not a women of strong faith...
I do not always think that God (or my husband) have MY best interest in mind, especially if it involves something that is hard or takes a large sacrifice on my part.

I am not flexible...
If my kids (or anyone else for that matter) changes my plans, especially if it meant time to myself or extra sleep... oh heck, even to go shopping or out to eat) I am not very accepting of the new plan.

My root sin is selfishness...
My knee-jerk reaction is self preservation. It takes a HUGE effort on my part to step outside of myself in order to help those most important to me.

I share this with you so that you will understand why I say that for Lent, I am working on/asking God for a complete overhaul of my heart. I am asking for a new heart, as this Scripture speaks...
I admit that I am nervous about this, but I also desire a new heart more than I ever have in my life. It's no secret that this year has thrown me for quite a loop - and it's not about to slow down. I always talk about dying to myself, but I don't seem to have what I need to truly be able to do it on my own. The problem is that I don't really ask God to help, I only demand that He help because I am entitled to be helped because He's the one who is calling me to all this. As I type it it puts such a terrible taste in my mouth. This life I live is a fulfillment of my deepest desires, and yet without God's grace to help me and to change me - and without living in a way that disposes me to receive these graces God desires to give me- I cannot truly experience TRUE joy and TRUE fulfillment in this life at all!

So I HAVE to step out - as a first act of faith this lent- without knowing exactly HOW God will respond, but I HAVE to believe that He will, that He DOES have my best interest in mind (not mention that He also loves my husband and my children more than I ever could), and that He will "see it through to completion"...  (which is that Salvation of our souls).

If you find this post to seem a bit discouraging, please know that it is meant to be one of hope- PRAISE GOD for the Church's gift of the season of LENT! This is what it's for. I am hopeful and excited for this beautiful gift...


I pray that this Lent be one that you may see and TRULY EXPERIENCE the Mercy and the Love of God.