David and I were honored to give talks at the Lake Charles Diocesan Youth Conference this weekend (while various groups of awesome people watched all four of our kidlets), David on Mary and I on self-worth. It was quite therapeutic, because I chose to go the route of telling my own story of discovering self-worth rather than a more conceptual approach (per the advice of my husband, who, as many of you know, is an incredibly gifted speaker).
I will spare you the details of the story, except maybe some pictures that I found to give the girls a visual of the junior high and high school, and college Kate...
Anyway, I ended the talk with some advice, that I realize I must use myself, lest I loose my way and stop clinging to Christ:
1) Date Jesus - in the same way you would work on a relationship with someone, talk to him, journal to him, Visit Him (Adoration), spend time with Him, read His love letters to you (Scripture), ask forgiveness of Him (Reconciliation).
2) Surround yourself with women who also love Christ- we live in a society where women, who call themselves friends, are in constant competition with one another for the attention of others (mostly men), and who try to one-up each other. Make it a point to pray for your friends and for their holiness, and spend time with friends who encourage and support you rather than compete with you.
3) Avoid Chick-flicks and Secular Music (or avoid most of those things)- When we expose ourselves to these, we get an unrealistic view of what love is. We place expectations on ourselves and on our husbands (boyfriends/men) to be someone that doesn't really exist. I notice that when I watch some of my old fav's - The Noteboook, in particular- I found myself disappointed in David for not being more like Ryan Gosling (who's character doesn't really exist and whose marriage was mostly fighting and one particular way to make up, which is pretty unhealthy)
You can imagine that the girl's hands went wild with possible exceptions : The Vow, Fireproof, A Walk to Remember, etc - which I responded, "I'm not saying to never watched any story that involves "one guy and one girl", I only mean to plant the seed of vigilance. Read about it before you watch it, change the radio station to something more positive, etc etc.
Why is this advice still applicable? Because If I am not following my own advice, then I will 1) Drain David for attention and love that ultimately does not satisfy my need for love and self-worth like my Creator can provide. 2) I place unrealistic expectations on myself and my husband to be someone I'm not, and I also am tempted to use my husband for my own selfish pleasure (physical OR emotional). 3) If I am not constantly seeking the very heart of Christ, then I lose my source of life and become drained, angry, short-tempered, and selfish.
I should give talks more often, my family would certainly benefit!
