Monday, June 8, 2015

Memo to Me: Daughter first. Wife Second. Mother Third.

It occurred to me recently that I have mixed up a few roles that I play...

All three of these are roles are a gift. They are important. They are my whole life...
But the problem comes when I realize (by God's grace) that I have mixed these up.

I am someones' Mama...

Motherhood. It seems like there can be no greater gift than to conceive, grow, birth, and nurture another immortal soul inside a precious little body, let alone 5 (and our three other precious souls in heaven whose bodies I will be with when I get there). It takes EVERYTHING to do this. Correction. It takes more than everything to do this, and this is not so because I have five children. To have one child is more difficult a lot of times, so mamas with less children than me, do not think that your job is any less difficult. Anyways...

Because this vocation seems to take the most physical, mental, and emotional energy, it's easy for me to justify letting it be the most important thing- which means that my other two roles take a back seat to motherhood. If you've never heard this before, let me be the first to tell you that this shouldn't be the case. I don't say it in this way because I'm awesome (though my kids think I'm pretty awesome), I say it because I want to free you!!  Guess what role comes before motherhood?

I am someone's wife...

 (I'm pretty positive that David is the MOST HANDSOME MAN EVER. Let's look at this picture for a while...)

I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought...

Being David's wife has made me a mom. It's given me purpose, and it's provided me a way to become a better person by continuously learning to pour myself out for someone else good (just to clear the air, it's not what I do best, but I'm really trying, y'all). And as a bonus, David is for sure the BEST husband- he goes ALL out, he dives in, he gives of himself constantly, and he thinks I'm pretty!!


Our marriage is not something that we're good at naturally. The tool boxes that we carry to love each other are quite small, which is why being husband and wife (while much more important than being Mommy and Daddy) cannot be the most important titles that we hold...


I am Someone's daughter...

THIS is the whole shebang, y'all!! Because I am limited in my capacity to love my children and my husband, then my MOST important role HAS to be that I am a dsughter of the KING OF THE UNIVERSE!! Here's an image that helps me:

Ok. now picture a backpack that acts as the carrier of my ability to love someone other than myself. Now picture a hose that goes from the VERY HEART OF CHRIST (whose heart was pierced and out flowed blood and water) to my back pack. Do you see what this gives me?!?! It gives me an INEXHAUSTIBLE resource to love my husband and my children!! What's the catch? I HAVE to stay plugged up (to Christ's heart). If I make sure to have individual prayer time with Him, I have to make sure that I am praying with David (because with couple prayer I am praying to the Lord while David listens in, and there is no more intimate experience than that), and I have to read the Scriptures!! And most of all - I need to participate in the Sacraments!! Receiving the very Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ helps me to BE CHRIST to those around me...

The greatest gift- beyond being able to have children and to be married to the most fantastic man on the planet- is ACTUALLY that I am a daughter of God!!

So where did this memo to me come from?

I was looking at this face...
Holding my sweet young daughter who is absolutely, 100% dependent on me to KEEP HER ALIVE, much less to love and nurture her, God gave me the gentle reminder that I am like this in HIS arms: helpless, dependent, and vulnerable... Remembering that I am His beloved daughter first will make me a better wife and mama!!

So somebody remind me when I get these mixed up, ok?